Rhodiola Nouveau

Sidestepping reality while holding another in my arms,
is both heartbreaking and powerful while it effectively disarms all of your charms.
Because it is one thing to think you could hide behind being someone else,
but how do you do that effectively when you no longer even know yourself?

Destroying lives and my own beach sand castles is not on,
dark sad places are not fun and I’m tired of hanging on –
to falsehoods and people who’s shoulders are fickle still,
who do nothing to put pictures on or to hold up my life’s mantle.

If you get what you put in, I’m not sure I want the pay out,
not sure I like what I put in and now I’m looking for a way out.
A path as far from some of the history’s I’m a little sad to say I have written,
but knowing that I have this feeling now surely means never twice bitten?

The gauntlet got longer as I got older and my emotions are all leather now,
I can’t remember when I got so carried away, but I think I’m better today somehow.
Rhodiola Nouveau is where I make my footprints now, in this way,
it is wholly happier and different to the sad crying blackout I remember from that day.

The irony of what costs the relationships with the people that aren’t at the bar,
the desperation to get out cannot equate the loss of people that really cared about it all –
so much in the beginning, but have since given up running my race,
and I can finally understand their exhaustion, at having to humour my pace.

Going to a place in my soul I wasn’t so happy to recognize,
but am now so glad I did, I can see what I was about to jeopardise.
When the house was quiet and people were sleeping, I journeyed through a story just like my own,
and being able to write about this creatively must be a sign of me having grown…

Wanting and meaning it when you ask the Universe for forgiveness,
is like getting out of a hot bath of bubbles and feeling a rush of blessedness.
Not wanting to be a chameleon or the crowd pleaser anymore,
but mostly not wanting to put my loves and myself – through an unholy unnecessary war.

Rhodiola Nouveau is where I make my footprints now, today -
it’s definitely happier and different to the sad crying blackout I remember from that day.
Because it is one thing to think you could hide behind being someone else,
but how do you do that when you no longer even know yourself?


© Dylan Balkind 2008