Not In

There’s a bird on a fence and a streetlight nearby, there’s a home to one side and some people inside. They’re outside of being inside the problems they don’t know about... but know about.

They’re blue, yellow, red and green. They watch life through a TV set with no screen.

Mirror.

Five talk, four listen and one sings the song from inside.

It’s Universal.

Do you hear it?

“And what I wouldn’t give… for a soulmate… someone else to catch this drift…”

See your life in the projection of another’s… somewhere, up there.

Mirror.

Round the corner, on a street you may not know, there’s a bird on a fence and a streetlight nearby. There’s a home to one side and some people inside. They’re outside of being inside of problems… they do know about.

Try telling news that your life told before you did -

and see that people are so seldom surprised.

Inveigle Beautiful Thing because it is… it’s beautiful.



© Dylan Balkind 2001

Let's say

(old writings)


Let’s aim for suicide and settle on depression,
Let’s ponder this loneliness some more,
Let’s recount how many friends seemed to promise delivery and then seemingly failed to do so.

Let’s not, and say we did.

Let’s meet old friends and hope to pick up where we left off.
Let’s indulge in outpouring of our souls and declare a cleansing and ultimately feeling better.
Let’s re-acquaint in a feigned reality and find comfort in the patterns of old routines.

Let’s not, and say we did.

Let’s throw out reality and say ‘what are you on?’
Let’s negate all boundaries and draw the line at nowhere,
Let’s eradicate all reason and tradition and find new meaning to this union.

Let’s not, and say we did.

Let’s run to the ends of the earth.
Or let’s not, and just say we did.



© Dylan Balkind 2001

Unstable

(old writings)


Unstable, I stumble, and fall into this pit. Life is peculiar... so funny in fact that, were I to die now, it’d be laughing myself to death.

I think it’s funny how straight forward others are in pointing out my defaults. I think it’s funny how their objectivity dissempowers self evaluation for them. I think it’s funny how what was once so strong has withered, and now all I can ask for is the once-a-week obligatory phone call. I think it’s funny how obsessive I am about others’ non obsessiveness about me. I think it’s funny how paranoia works. I think it’s funny how I only see myself in context of their opinions and social reviews of me. I think it’s funny how the stories I tell seem to make only my heart beat faster. I think it’s funny how filmic representation has made such an impact on my ideology, that distinguishing for me, is now so hard to do.

.

I think it’s funny how no matter how we walk and talk in the different roles we play, inadequacies always outweigh the proposed confidence and we become transparent for it. I think it’s funny how longing for sets me up for overexposed pictures from the negatives I was so keen to see. I think it’s funny how I go through life as this glowing ball of influential energy, yet am unable to consume it myself. I think it’s funny how I can rant and rave on paper and then tell myself I’ve dealt with those frustrations, that anger, that pain. I think it’s funny how after all that, there is still a glimpse of hope, even if disguised in one single persons acknowledgement of me. I think it’s funny how in the short time we’re given, we toss aside lessons that continually slap us in the face and persist to take time and life for granted. I think it’s funny how ‘we’ becomes ‘he’ becomes ‘we’ becomes ‘I,’ (alone). I think it’s funny that I see it that way and still waste time and energy worrying, and controlling.

Ergo, I think it’s funny how unstable we all are. Unstable, we (all) stumble, falling into this pit (with me).


© Dylan Balkind 2001

Humbled

(old writings)


The phone stopped ringing, I stopped whining and entertaining turned to entertainment – required. Belittled by belittling factors of inner feuds and eventual death. Pining shadows whining and stillness sets in.

Time lost, birthdays missed, temptress evil of the financial kiss. Alone finds new meaning from being to wanting to giving – of me. The other in the mirror says ‘remember me,’ and acquainted memories come into focus.

Walking the plank to travel and splendour, geographical argues with headspace and time is a vendor. Silly rhyme scheme here we go, let’s continue this lifetime show. Because entertaining always turns to entertainment – required.

The seats in solitude theatre are comfy. So sit, enjoy and take in the surround, when pining shadows whining and stillness sets in.


© Dylan Balkind 2001

all I need

We could go together and tell them we’re just good friends. We could bide our time on their naivete. We could go away together and be what we want to be,

Now all I need, is a ‘you.’

We could hang out together and ignore their conventional stars. We could return their aversions of acknowledgement, leaving the discomfort with them. We could love our lives and just be 'we,’

Now all I need, is a ‘you.’

We could be childish together and still sleep at night. We could laugh at ourselves and take the mickey out of ‘us.’ We could promise to each other for forever,

Now all I need, is a ‘you.’

We could tempt the margins of the other side of the fence. We could bounce ourselves off these impeding walls. We could pretend for forever, both ‘we’ or just me,

Now all I need, is ‘you.’

We could serve one another the fuel frenzied hand. We could run away together and realize that home is where we want to be. We could go out of our heads to somewhere we both understand.

Now all I need, is a ‘you.’


© Dylan Balkind 2001

COINS

Reverse, subvert and stand behind the line.
And demons smirk while stay there –
you wide eyed boy. Watching them talking about the way you move –
your head
your headspace

In this world, where coins have two heads,
Heads they win, tails you lose. Dial a number to no reply…

You stand on the platform of androgyny as representation misfortune
While small minds shut down, misunderstanding space to share –
Silent head
Silent headspace

Being muted keeps you lucky.
Free from bashing. Free from bruising.
Understand this, and tell your stories through selective mediums to selected ears and selecting opinions shouted from un-muted mouths.

The scope is growing – don’t tremble at the treble of the volume increase…
Whispering head
Deafening headspace
And they thought you might –
reverse subvert, and stand behind the line........


And in the blink of an instance,
the universe smiles and nods her head.


© Dylan Balkind 2001