Under the Milky Way

Maybe I’m just scared

Scared of being an adult

Scared of loving and not being loved

Maybe I’m scared because they are older now than they should be
Maybe I am scared because I knew this day would come but didn’t think yet
Maybe

Maybe I try too hard
Maybe I fall to hard
Maybe

Maybe I can’t hurdle as well as I think I can
Or earn as much as I think I can in the expected timespan
Maybe I can’t fix what might not need fixing
Maybe

Maybe I like to stay awake at night by myself just because
Maybe it doesn’t mean anything like being up to no-good
I could sleep and dream or be awake and fantasise
Maybe

Maybe I fall too hard

Maybe I expect too hard

Maybe I admonish too hard

Maybe I’m already everything I planned I would be…
Not the actor although always performing
Maybe they already look at me impressed and wonder why I still think I don’t know what I’m doing

Maybe

Maybe I try too hard

Maybe I cry too hard

Maybe I am angry
Maybe I don’t know why –
Why I walk and talk and do silly things for my own regret
Maybe

Maybe not

Maybe he thinks I’m silly too and just keeps going
Or is he ever-patient and ever-knowing?
Is his big love the same as my big love?
Maybe

Maybe I don’t accept enough

Maybe

When will it stop?
Where will it end?
Maybe when I turn the corner and things are just different…
Maybe